


Please Be Mine?

by Karinna_Universe



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Brian fucked up and now he wants to fix it, Cheating, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Possesive!Terroriser, Tyler thinks this is a bad idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 04:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7153301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karinna_Universe/pseuds/Karinna_Universe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evan and Brian are lovers, until an old flame of Evan's enters his life once more. Will Brian be able to keep what's his?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And So It Begins

“You can stay with me. You don’t have to leave.” 

Brian stopped at the door, shirt in hand and pants unbuttoned in his haste to leave. He heaved a sigh and looked at the tired, resigned person in the bed. Azure eyes met dark brown ones, he sighed and headed over to the bedside and kissed Evan on the cheek, wanting to take the man into his arms and never let go. 

But he couldn’t, he wasn’t ready to show the world their relationship, this wasn’t anything but sex so far, despite their feelings. They were ‘Friends with Benefits’ so to speak and it broke Brian’s heart to do this to Evan. Because of this arrangement he couldn’t stay the night with Evan, he didn’t want his feelings for the Canadian to grow any stronger, or ruin their amazing friendship.

“You know I can’t, Evan. The guys would figure us out. See you later? Everyone wants to go out for drinks later.” He cringed. God he sounded so fucking desperate to see Evan again. Evan choked back the hurt, which went unnoticed by Brian. “Y-Yeah, I’ll see y-you there.” Evan finally got out.

Brian bit his lip as he walked out of Evan’s hotel room, making sure no one saw him. Once he made it to his room he shared with Brock he locked the door and leaned his head against it.

“Well hello Brian, where have you been since we got back? Found a girl to pass the time with huh, Tiger.“ Brock spoke with mirth, causing Brian to almost jump out of his skin. 

“Jesus, don’t fucking do that Brocky! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Brian startled, pushing past Brock who was leaning against the wall near the entrance. Brock rolled his eyes and laughed, “Then maybe you have a guilty conscious, who were you out with? A lady?”

As much as Brian loved his easy going friend, he shrugged off Brock’s pestering and fell face first onto the bed. Brock was very persistent however, and nodded knowingly, “Yeah, you got laid and now you’re feeling guilty. It’s okay bud, maybe you’ll see her again.” 

He just let Brock think what he wanted and turned out his light. He couldn’t sleep no matter what he did though, he tossed and turned the entire night, wondering what he could do about his secret “relationship” with everyone’s favorite Canadian.

The next day, everyone was sitting at a group of tables they pushed together to seat everyone for breakfast. Nogla was just finishing another embarassing story of his childhood when Brock sat down with his food next to Brian.

“So Brian, why don’t you tell us why you came back to the room so late.” He started, everyone started grinning and bugging him for details on the “lucky lady”. He glanced around the table for Evan to gauge his reaction, only to find that he wasn’t anywhere to be found at the table.

“Where’s Evan?” he tried to deflect. No one had time to answer before the sound of Evan’s laughter was heard from the entrance. They all turned and sure enough there was Evan, he was talking to a young man in a suit. They were both laughing and the man had his arm around Evan’s shoulders.

Brian felt his fingers twitch, Craig and Brock started speculating who that man could possibly be. Tyler just smiled knowingly, “Of course Evan would find himself a hot, young sugar daddy at a convention. Lucky bastard.”

Brian could only give a tight smile as everyone laughed, still looking at how close the other two men were. The man checked his watch and frowned, looked back at Evan and gave the gamer a hug. Evan returned the hug and just before he let go, the man whispered something in his ear, causing Evan to blush and giggle like a school girl. Brian felt the ugly grasp of jealousy in his heart, he turned back once Evan turned in their direction and pactically skipped his way over.

He sat down next to Lui with a content sigh, which was almost enough to drive Brian up the wall. Brian was a pretty possesive guy, while he and Evan weren’t particularly ‘a thing’, Evan was His.

“Who was that Ev?” he inquired before anyone else had the chance. Evan glanced at Brian before shrugging. “He’s an old friend from college. He started a business with a friend and he’s currently in town to meet up with a potential business partner. He says he’s doing really well and that we should get together when I get back to L.A., apparently he also moved there to start his company.”

Tyler threw a strawberry at him, “You two seemed a little too close there to just be friends.” Evan stuck his toungue out before answering, “Yeah? His name is Derek, we dated for a year in college before we decided to take a break and see where life took us. Soon after the break up I moved and we just, didn’t get in contact again. Which sucked because I really loved him, he was an amazing boyfriend. 

A couple of “aww’s” went around the table at their friend’s admission. Evan rolled his eyes, he reached for a plate which Nogla had ordered for him. Brian kept his gaze on him, unrelenting until Evan looked at him and smugly raised an eyebrow as challenging him to say anything.

“So what were you guys talking about?“ Evan prompted. Tyler pointed his fork at Brian, “Apparently that fuck boy got laid last night. He was just about to tell us about her before you and your boyfriend came in.” 

Evan tensed and looked at Brian with an affronted glare. “Keep going man, I wanna hear this. Come on, don’t stop on my account.” Brian sighed and looked Evan in the eye.

“It wasn’t a one night stand. I’ve known this person for a long time actually, they’re so amazing and kind that it surprises me that they haven’t dropped my ass for someone who deserves them.“

Brian paused and felt his chest tighten, “Their eyes are the most beautiful shade of brown I’ve ever seen, so warm and comforting but can also be cold and distant if you piss them off, which is the stupidest thing you’d ever do because they have the patience of a saint. Their arms are the best place to be if you need to remind yourself why you wake up everyday in this shitty world.“

“Their laugh is the most stupidest thing I’ve heard but hearing it makes me smile like an idiot and when I make them laugh I feel like I’ve won the lottery. I want to ask them to be mine but I’m too scared of what people will think, what my friends will think of me. And it’s stupid because I’m not embarassed of him but of myself because I’m a coward for hiding this for so long.” Brian placed his head in his hands. 

The table went silent, not a single word could express how shocked they were that Brian felt so deeply about the situation, the fact that Brian was apparently talking about a man wasn’t a problem. They heard a chair scrape across the floor.

Evan was standing, his fists curled and breathing uneven. He was shaking and looked like he wanted to say something but just turned and walked away. “I’m going to just go ahead and go to the convention early and enjoy some games before too many people show up. Call me when you guys get there.” 

The table remained silent.

For the rest of the convention, Brian didn’t see or hear from Evan. It was like he was a myth! His friends all somehow got to speak and hang out with Evan but he couldn’t ever catch the Canadian. Not even at dinner, which was when all of the guys gathered and caught up with each other on their day, could Brian find sign of Evan.

“Look, Brian. I don’t know what the hell was going on between you and Evan, or at least I didn’t until now, but you need to stop looking like a kicked puppy.” Tyler said as the elevator closed.

The guys at dinner decided to take a walk throughout the city and sight see a little, everyone sans Tyler and Brian. Who were now on their way up to go to bed a little early. Brian looked up at Tyler, “What am I supposed to do then! He’s not answering my calls or texts and he’s avoiding me like the plague! 

“Just go to his room or something, he hasn’t been eating with us for these past three days because he said he’s catching up with that friend of his. So he’s not really avoiding you, just kinda busy.” Tyler said pointedly. Brian glanced at Tyler with disdain.

“Oh really, he’s been ditching us for that asshole? They haven’t seen each other in years! Why does he feel the need to talk to that douchebag!” almost growling, he faced the doors to the elevator as they opened.

Tyler was about to say something else but cut himself off when both he and Brian saw Evan’s hotel room door open and Evan’s friend step out, the Canadian stepping out after him and giving the man a hug. A hug that lasted far too long if you asked Brian, before he thought about what he was doing, he was making his way towards his lover, determination set in his heart. Tyler on his heels incase he had to break up a fight.

Brian’s motivation only increased when the man gave HIS Evan a kiss on the cheek. They separated and Evan waved at the man, who was walking backwards blowing Evan a kiss. He bumped into Brian and apologized but didn’t get any acknowledgement from the Irishman. 

Evan saw Brian and Tyler approach and smiled at them. “Hey guys! What are you two- ” 

He was cut off by Brian grabbing his hips and slamming him into the doorway. His lips dangerously close to his neck, causing shivers to ride up Evan’s spine and arousal to flood his senses. Evan bit his lip when Brian whispered, “You’re MINE. Evan do you understand Baby, mine and mine alone.” 

He grinded his hips against the other man’s, causing a whimper to be heard. Brian growled against Evans skin and placed butterfly kisses along his collar bones. He started pulling Evan towards the bed, gently pushing Evan onto the mattress, he lifted his lover’s shirt and placed a hand under his boxers.

Evan was feeling his control slipping further and further away. He couldn’t do this. Not anymore. He pushed Brian off of him and vaulted away from the bed. Leaving Brian panting and dumbfounded.

Evan felt his heart clench, he had to do this. Despite him loving Brian to pieces, he couldn’t do this anymore, he was tired of sneaking around. He and Derek have been talking and remembering their old relationship and Evan was thinking that maybe they had another chance.

He looked Brian in the eyes, “Brian. We can’t.”


	2. You're Invited!

“Evan, Baby, are you home?“ Evan heard Derek call out. Since everyone was still in the game lobby he didn’t feel the need to mute his mic.

“I’m in the office! Just about to record with the guys, do you need something?” He waited for a response, instead, Derek walked into his office and kissed Evan passionately. Evan heard the guys cat calling from his headset, he pulled back with eyebrows raised.

“What was that for? Am I forgetting something here, or what?” Derek rolled his eyes with a fond smile that made Evan’s heart race as if it was part of an Olympic marathon. “Nothing really, I just wanted to kiss my handsome boyfriend, who’s been sitting in his office, editing videos and probably skipped a couple of meals so I brought you something before I left.” He kissed Evan’s forehead.

Evan turned his body to face Derek, worry and a hint of annoyance coloring his voice as he spoke, “Where are you off to now, and why am I only hearing about this now? How long will you be gone?”

Derek crouched in front of Evan and placed a hand on his knee, “I’m going to New York to help solve an issue that arose in that branch. It was a last minute thing and I should be gone for maybe 3 weeks at the very least. I’m sorry Evan, I know we had plans for next week, and I feel horrible.” He kissed Evan on the cheek before he left the office.

"Oh! And, uh, I remember you told me that your friend, Brian, was coming to LA. Maybe you could invite him to stay with you to keep you company and so he doesn’t have to spend money on a hotel while he’s here." With that, Derek was out the door, leaving Evan wide-eyed.

He turned back to his computer, he wouldn't mind having his friend over at all, not having seen Brian in almost a year. He cleared his throat, "Did you hear that Brian? You can totally stay with me while you're in LA. If you want to, that is."

Brian smiled, he really did want to see his friend again after so long. They had ended on shaky grounds but neither wanted to lose their close friendship and so they pushed past any awkwardness that they felt after a month or so, and that made Brian incredibly happy. So what if he still felt his heart skip a beat when Evan laughed at one of his jokes, so what if he was still looking forward to talking to him face to face just to get absorbed in those handsome and charming brown eyes? He was happy for Evan and Derek, they were really good together and as much as Brian tried to resent the guy, he couldn't.

He cleared his throat, and hesitantly asked, "Would you mind if I stayed with you, Ev? I don't want to bother or inconvenience you in any way at all so if it is a bother I could just stay at a hotel." Brian heard Evan snort.

"It's really not a problem, I'm home most of the time and now that Derek moved in I've kind of gotten used to living with someone. You would actually be doing me a huge favor by not letting me feel lonely in my apartment." Brian could hear the smile in Evan's voice, "Plus, it would be easier to upload videos on youtube from my apartment than a hotel, you know, because my internet speed is way faster than a hotel's. Dude, you can even vlog if you wanted to, just don't show where I live and that's all!"

"Alright! If you're sure that I won't be a bother then I'll be happy to not have to pay for a hotel for two whole weeks!! Now follow me, I have a great spot for this round, they're never going to find us!"

After everyone was done recording, they signed off one by one, until it was just Brian, Evan, and Tyler. Evan was just signing off after making sure he and Brian were on the same page with each other so he could start preparing for Brian's visit. Once Evan left the call Brian was bombarded with questions from Tyler.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing man?" Brian made a noise of protest, going unheard by the American. "I know you still have a thing for Evan and I think that this is going to end terribly for both of you, Evan was fucking in love with your dumb ass before that guy came back into his life and you just let him get swept away instead of fighting for him. And despite him being happy with his boyfriend, I really think that if you two spend a whole two weeks together that you guys might do some stupid shit and someone is gonna end up in pain."

Brian had spent months moping about fucking things up with Evan to Tyler, who had discovered the Irish man's feeling for the Canadian that day at PAX, and as much as he wanted his friends to be together they couldn't. He knew that if these two idiots spent two entire weeks together then any feelings they might still have for each other will reignite, and that could only end up in flames.


	3. Movie Night

_Hey man, where are you at? - Evan 9:45am_

Brian rolled his eyes, some guy had blocked him from getting his bags at the baggage claim and he had to wait for the belt to loop around again. He sent a quick response explaining the situation and waited. Honestly, he had a wonderful flight, not a single problem at all and of course there was supposed to e some mild inconvenience, so he wasn't really upset. He spotted his luggage and quickly gathered it and tried to make his way to the spot he was meeting Evan, who was kind enough to pick him up and take to his apartment.

He walked to the Starbucks they were going to meet at and he looked around for his buff friend, he had said that he would at least wait around the area but Brian saw no sign of Evan. "Where are you, Best Friend?" He muttered to himself, "I swear to God if you're go-AH!"

He felt someone dig their fingers into his sides, the pain and surprise making him almost jump out of his skin. He heard a very familiar laugh and whirled around to face the culprit. Evan was laughing with his hand on his stomach.

"Goddamn it Evan," He said, shutting down Evan's attempts at giving him a hug, "why the _fuck_ would you do that, you Prick!" Evan laughed again, once again going in for an apologetic hug.

Evan was still smiling even as Brian shoved him away when he tried to put his arms around Brian for a hug, "Awww Brian, don't be mad, I was just messing around! Come on, I haven't seen you in forever and you should definitely give me a hug. Don't be a stranger." He pulled the Irish YouTuber in his arms.

The Irish man hesitated, but once his arms were around Evan he never wanted to let go, it had been so long since he had held Evan. He wasn't surprised that Evan wanted hugs despite their history, Evan was always affectionate with all of his friends and people he cared about. Brian had always loved that about him.

Okay, he didn't want to go there. He was here to spend time with his _friend_

not anything else. Not anymore at least.

They entered Evan's apartment and Brian was shown the guest room and was left to settle in while Evan ordered a pizza and set up a movie on Netflix.

As soon as the guestroom door closed, Brian fell face first against the mattress and groaned. This was a bad idea, he was so screwed! Why did he think it was a good idea to stay with Evan for two whole weeks? Two whole weeks of dealing with the guilt and pining involving one of his best friends!

Evan closed his bedroom door, he sighed and jumped into the shower. He was in a happy, committed relationship and was completely over his romantic interests in Brian. That was a path that he thought was best for, both, him and his friends, not to take. So if this was the case, why was he so happy that Brian was staying with him? He never felt this way when he let any other friends stay with him before.

"Don't be an idiot. You love Derek and you'd never do anything to hurt him. What you had with Brian is over, he probably doesn't even think of you this way anymore. He's only here, staying in the apartment because your boyfriend was okay with a _friend_ staying with you." 

Evan rinsed off and stood under the water for a few more minutes before shutting off the water. He got changed and met up with Brian in the living room. Brian was seated on his couch and was going through possible movie choices. Evan sat on the opposite side of the couch and tucked his feet under himself, watching as Brian skimmed through the movie descriptions, eventually Evan asked if Brian was alright with watching a horror movie seeing as Evan really wanted to rewatch some of his favorites.

They decided on _The Ring_ to start off, as soon as it started Brian could feel a chill crawl up his spine and glanced at Evan, who wore a small grin as if he knew this movie would get to Brian straight off the bat. They continued to watch as the main characters were introduced and the plot unfolds, both of them making odd comments here and there. Of course, whenever the music got really intense and loud Brian would tense up and hold his breath, especially once the creepy bitch started doing the whole crawling out of shit spiel. At one point the suspense was too much for him and he reached for Evan's arm. Evan let him hold on as the rest of the movie played on, knowing how much both of them needed the comfort because, while Brian expressed his fear, Evan maintained his composure but he freaked out internally.

Once the movie was over, they both noticed that they were a lot closer than what they were in the beginning, they shrugged it off but Brian could feel his heart pounding as he watched Evan head towards the kitchen for drinks and snacks before they delved into another film. Before he and Evan had stopped seeing each other, they had never done anything so... domestic, for lack of a better word. Hell, they'd never been on a real date! Not from lack of trying on Evan's end, he was always trying to convince Brian to go out to dinner together, go to the movies, or just do something together. Brian, on the other hand, had always shut him down because of some reason or another, "I won't have time to pack before I leave," "I'm sure the guys would want to hang out together since we never see each other," "We won't have the time to." 

All those times Brian would have been able to make an honest relationship with Evan, but he didn't. What was wrong with him? He was never ashamed of his sexuality or the fact that he was in love with Evan, so why hadn't he just manned up asked Evan to be exclusive? It wasn't like either of them was seeing other people. Now because of his stupidity, Evan was completely happy with his very successful businessman boyfriend who lived with him and was welcomed home with a kiss from Evan's beautiful mouth that always drove Brian crazy with how much affection and passion came from those lips.

Evan cut into his thoughts when he handed Brian a soda, unceremoniously dropping onto the couch beside Brian. He was scrolling through his phone and occasionally lifting the corner of his lips in amusement. Brian had to talk to Evan, about what happened, how much he regrets losing him, the fact that he may have to end up going to a hotel despite everything because all he wants to do is kiss and caress Evan like he was once allowed to do. Brian wanted so much to just forget about Derek and ask Evan for a second chance but he couldn't do that to Evan and Derek! Goddamnit, he was already losing his mind and he hadn't Evan gotten past the first day without pining. He may have to call Tyler for advice, maybe Tyler was right. Maybe this was a terrible idea.


	4. A Realization

The next morning, Brian woke up early and made his way to the kitchen. He had decided that since he's staying with Evan and not paying him, he'd at least help out with little things here and there. He started on breakfast, making two omelets and some sausage and set the plates out on the breakfast bar. He was about to go see if Evan was awake when the front door opened and in walked Evan breathing heavily and in workout clothes, his shirt drenched in sweat. Evan walked into the kitchen and paused when he saw Brian.

"Oh, hey! I wasn't expecting you up so soon! How'd you sleep?" Evan opened the fridge and grabbed a water, he turned to sit at the bar and noticed the food. "You made breakfast?"

Brian shrugged, looking anywhere but at Evan's arms. "Yeah, it's the least I could do." Brian scrunched his nose in disgust, "You should get in the shower, though, you kind of stink, Ev. How fucking early do you wake up to go on a run?" 

Evan laughed and downed his water, he walked off and shed his shirt to toss it in the laundry hamper before disappearing into the bathroom. Brian sat and started eating his food, slightly red-faced. How was he supposed to keep his feelings to himself when the object of his feelings had a body like Evan's? Tyler had warned him that Evan had no sense of shame with being naked in front of others. It was probably due to the fact of being in sports all those years and changing in the locker room.  

Dear God, these next few weeks were going to be stressful.  

 Brian ate in silence and checked his phone to see if there was anything going on that needed his attention. When he finally put his cell phone down he looked around the kitchen; It was pretty spacious and pristine with a couple of cups and plates of the drying rack; the kitchen counter sat a half-full bowl of fruit and some of the protein shake mix containers Evan has. The fridge had what looked like a couple of fan-art pictures of Evan and their friend's characters, plus some sticky notes. Brian got up and read what was on the stick notes.

_Shopping List_

  * _Milk_
  * _~~orange juice~~  Babe, I just got that yesterday! _
  * _Peanut Butter_
  * _Dish Soap (Not the really expensive one!)_
  * _Salt_
  * _Hand Soap_
  * _Toilet paper_



Brian hummed, must have been an old shopping list because he had no problem finding salt. He moved on to another note: ' _Derek, I know you're busy today and I know you're not going to wake me up so I wanted to tell you before you left; HAPPY VALLENTINE'S DAY! love you, and you better come back in time because I have a surprise for you tonight. ;) Only the best for the most important man in my life! - Ev'_  

Brian frowned a bit and resisted the urge to roll his eyes, after all, if this note were directed at him he wouldn't be so bothered by it. Evan sure was sweet and Brian hoped they had a lovely night, Evan's surprises usually meant something sexy- _n_ _ot going to finish that thought._  The rest of the notes were either reminders to do something or encouraging notes from each other to the other person. Brian smiled at how much the couple loved each other, they deserved each other.  

Evan came up behind Brian and excused himself to get to the fridge for some orange juice and asked Brian to get him a cup from the cupboard above him and then sat himself down in front of the plate Brian had set for him. "You know, it's nice to not have to prepare breakfast all the time or eat alone every morning."

Brian sat across from his friend to continue eating his own omelet. "Why do you say that? Don't you and Derek have Breakfast together all the time?"

"Derek likes to go to work early, lots of meetings and things to do as the CEO of a company I guess, especially if it's just spreading to more parts of the country." Evan took a bite out of the omelet, closed his eyes and groaned, "Oh my God! Brian, this is so good, I didn't know you could cook! This is amazing!" He took another bite, he hadn't realized how hungry he was after his run and how amazing it was to not have cooked it himself.

Brian laughed, Evan was scarfing down his food, it felt great that Evan had liked the breakfast he'd made. Evan noticed Brian's smile and grinned back. "So, what were you going to do here in LA? Or are you just visiting?" 

Brian launched into his reasons for visiting LA, visiting friends and family; a couple of collabs with other YouTubers; meeting with some sponsors, etc. They talked some more and caught up before cleaning up. Brian asked Evan what he was doing today and received a shrug, "I guess the same old thing, editing some footage and I think I have a meeting at 3blackdot that I can't miss."

"Oh, so you're busy all day?" Brian faltered in his footsteps, he'd been hoping they could both just hang out and see the city or something. He supposed that Evan inviting him here and such would allow them to hang out a bit but of course, Evan would be busy because he wasn't just going to drop everything for Brian to visit. Brian felt that annoying pang in his chest again, he knew he shouldn't because he had no right to; Evan was dating Derek, they were happy together. 

Evan peered into Brian's eyes, waving to get his attention, "Brian.. you good, man? Hey Brian, dude,  I've been talking to you. You could have told me I was boring you instead of just ignoring me!" Evan laughed. He was going to add more but he heard his cell phone ring and squeezed Brian's shoulders before excusing himself to answer the phone. "Hi, Babe! How was your flight? Did you make it there alright?" Brian heard Evan laugh a bit before he entered his bedroom down the hall, leaving Brian to himself in the living room, the last thing he heard was, "Yeah, Brian made it here safely and I'll tell him you said hi."

Brian sat on the couch and pulled out his phone to text Tyler. He needed to talk to someone about this and since Tyler was the only one who knew about him and Evan he was the one Brian trusted. 

_**Tyler, I fucked up.** 9:00 am. Sent._

**_What the fuck did you do?_ ** _9:00 am_

Brian looked up at the ceiling and sighed, honestly he was taking this way out of proportion and he knew it but he was freaking out.

**_I'm not over my feelings and I think I was hoping too much out of this trip._ ** _9:02 am. Sent._

**_Look, just idk try not to do something stupid with Evan that you'll both regret. I don't want you guys to get hurt, I mean it, Brian._ ** _9:03 am_

"Hey, Brian!" Brian jumped and clutched at his chest at the jump scare. "I was thinking we could go to a club and meet up with Tom and Mini or something after my meeting with 3blackdot, you up for it? I mean, your not going to be doing your things until tomorrow, right?" Evan came back into the living room and leaned against the wall. Brian and Evan discussed the plans for tonight and where they'd meet up before Evan left to catch his meeting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So this story isn't dead it's just very difficult for me to get inspired enough to write it and then get the motivation to post it, but here I am! Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it and if you want things to move a bit faster then let me know, I would love to see your ideas.


	5. Drinks and Troubling Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Brian go out for the night and have fun; hopefully, they can stay out of trouble while around friends.

The bitter taste of beer on his tongue was a welcome distraction as he heard the pounding music and the laughter of his friends. They had met up with Craig, Adam, Cathy, and Tom, they were sitting at a booth and were having a great time. Brian seemed to have found his element and was cracking jokes and was practically the life of the party, he was laughing at something Craig had said and Tom rebutted. Evan was never the kind to be the center of attention like that, he'd very much rather enjoy himself with their company and occasionally make a comment here and there to be involved in the conversation.

Evan was brought back into the conversation when Adam threw his arm around Evan's shoulder. "I'm sure Mr. Vanoss wouldn't mind dancing with you, Brian. I've seen him and Derek tear up a rug once or twice." Craig chuckled. "With arms like those, I'm sure it's not hard to, huh, Evan?"

Evan flexed, used to these kinds of jokes with Craig. "Yeah, dude. Hey, you're not too far behind, think you could beat me at arm wrestling?" Craig shook his head vigorously and widened his eyes.

"Hell no, are you crazy? You'd crush me and probably break my arm, no thank you!"

Tom and Brian Booed while they threw their napkins at Craig. Cathy, Adam, and Evan laughed. Adam got up and offered his arm to Cathy, "Well, we're gonna hit the dance floor. See you guys in a bit" Cathy laughed and waved back at them as Adam swept her away. Tom clapped his hands together quirked his head a bit, "You know what, I feel like dancing too! I'm off. You guys wanna join me?" 

The three of them said they'd join him in a bit and Tom shrugged and started pumping his arms to the music as he wandered away, Craig and Brian catcalling after him. Craig turned back to them and grinned happily. "So, are you down to go to the gym sometime soon? It ought to be fun with the three of us being bros and lifting weights." Evan agreed easily, he and Craig had been going to the gym together ever since Craig moved to LA. Brian, on the other hand, seemed more hesitant, " I don't know, Craig. I came to LA to do some errands and business, I might not have time." Brian trailed off.

Craig seemed to understand, "Yeah, I get it. Well, if you and Evan ever find time then, since you're staying with him, call me up and we get together." He turned to Evan.

"So where did Derek head off to this time? He's been pretty busy lately I guess because I haven't seen him around much." Evan nodded and took another swig of his beer.

"Yeah, he has been pretty busy I guess. Right now he's off in New York for some meeting or whatever. Two weeks ago he went to visit his family back in Canada and he was there for a while when he got back he seemed so tired before he got called away again. I guess I'm just upset that he doesn't get to relax much and that we don't spend as much time together anymore." Evan sighed and grabbed a handful of peanuts from the center bowl on the table.

Craig patted him on the shoulder, "Maybe you should ask to join him next time he goes somewhere? Or even ask him to take a break?" Brian nodded, not liking how sad Evan was that he didn't get to spend time with his boyfriend. He remembered all the times he pushed Evan away or had canceled plans with just the two of them. Brian had learned his lesson when he lost Evan and he wasn't going to watch it happen again.

Evan scoffed. "I can't just do that. If I did go with him I still wouldn't spend time with him because he'd be in meetings and then I wouldn't even be doing anything productive because recording in hotel rooms sucks. I can't just ask him to take a break just to spend time with me because I think that would be selfish of me!" Evan ran his hand through his hair and leaned back into his seat. "Derek and I have talked about this but it just seems like there's never much time for just us. I can see why you don't want to start a relationship with someone, Brian."

Ouch. Maybe Evan shouldn't have said that. He should stop drinking and apologize because he's starting to feel antagonistic. Brian had bit his lip and felt every ounce of regret and shame he had in his body douse him. "I'm sorry," Evan began, "I shouldn't have said that. I know that's not how you feel or the reason why honestly, it's none of my business."

Brian shrugged. "Yeah, that's not the reason, Ev. The reason is just that I was an idiot and realized what I had too late when they were done with my bullshit." Evan took another swig of his beer, emptying it and then got up. He stretched his arms above his head and groaned when his back popped, he shook out his shoulders and tilted his head towards the dance floor. 

"I'm going to awkwardly shuffle until I find my groove, or maybe just until I find Tom. See you, boys, later."

Craig nodded and immediately turned to Brian, "Something's up. Spill."

"Wha- No! There's nothing "up". What are you talking about?"

Craig punched him on the shoulder. "I'm not fucking stupid, Brian. Spill."

"About what, Craig?"

"Don't you dare get that tone with me, young man-"

"I'm old-"

"Don't." Craig slammed his hand on the table. "Look, none of us are stupid. We knew."

Brian narrowed his eyes and felt his shoulders tense. Craig forged on, "We knew something was going on between you two and we were hoping either you would get your act together or you told us about you two when you were ready." Craig ran his hand over his face and cleaned his glasses. "Clearly. That didn't happen because then, Evan was with a new guy, and you got vicious for a while before you started acting like an even more cocky asshole than usual."

Brian gave a hollow chuckle. "Tyler told you."

Craig shrugged. "He was the first to officially know, but we've all been suspecting for a while and we all even placed bets on how long until you told us." Craig took this time to let Brian mull over his words and waved down a waiter for another round of beers. Brian crossed his arms on the table and rested his head on them. 

He really didn't want to think about this right now, all of their friends new and just stood by as Brian fucked everything up. Craig sighed and patted Brian on the back.

"Honestly Brian, I think you still have a chance." Brian shook his head, "No, I'm serious. Evan has been talking about how little time they have, that some weeks they only talk for at most 2 hours for the whole week because they're so busy. Brian, Evan wants more than that. He might love Derek with all he is, and I hope they can work it out because I want my friend happy, but I think deep down they know it might not work out." Craig smiled encouragingly, "Which means that maybe you can try and show Evan what you're ready for this time. Try to woo him again."

"I'm not doing that Craig. That seems kind of manipulative and I'm not going to be a homewrecker."

Brian looked out into the dance floor and searched a bit before he found Tom and Evan who were dancing and talking to Adam and Cathy. Evan was laughing while Cathy swatted at him and Adam pretended to be scared of his girlfriend. He didn't seem to need him or Derek, he seemed perfectly happy on his own so even if the whole thing with Derek didn't work out, who was Brian to try and swoop in. Brian was the guy who was too ashamed of himself to seal the deal and just date the man that made him feel loved and incredible.

Brian refused to try and sabotage Evan and Derek's relationship. He wouldn't do that to someone he loved. 


	6. How it All Began

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There may be sexy times. This is your warning!

Evan unlocked the door and helped a completely plastered, and giggly Brian onto the couch before he went to the kitchen to get some water and asprin set up. Brian was speaking but his accent was more prominent and it didn't help that he was slurring his words.

"Ev m'bud." Brian leaned over the couch, almost tipping over if Evan hadn't grabbed on to his shoulders and gently sat him down. "You...Evlookitmeh. You're tehbes' ting ta happen to meee!" Brian sing-songed. Evan grinned at the Irishman and sat next to him while holding the glass of water to his mouth.

"Drink this, man. Hopefully if you drink enough water before going to bed your hangover won't be so bad." He slowly tipped the glass foward and let Brian drink at his own pace. When the other man started reaching for the glass he waved him off.

"You can hold the next glass, I don't trust you not to break my nice glass cups," Evan smiled at Brian, who gave him a small pout, "and I like taking care of the people I care about so let me do this, man."

Brian was glad that his skin was already flushed while he was intoxicated because he was sure if he had been sober that he would have turned every shade of red with what Evan had told him. Evan hadn't noticed and just kept helping the other man.

"Evan, I'm serious." Brian suddenly felt incredibly sober. His heart was pounding and his hand started to get clammy, not to mention that his throat felt like it was closing up. "You are the best thing to happen to me, Ev. You infuriate me and tease me to the point where I want to punch you in your perfect face," Brian grinned to himself, not looking at Evan, "but you also make me want to be a better person. You make my day brighter when you laugh at my jokes, you always know what to do and say to make everything better."

Brian chanced a glance at the man beside him, and his heart promptly shattered once again. Evan was staring at him with a blank expression, his hand gripping the now empty glass. His right cheek was stained with a single tear track. He always did this to the man he loved. Put him in difficult situations.

"You're everything to me, Ev. Everything. You're smile, your laugh, and the way you moaned my name. I could tell that what we had wasn't just lust or a way to take the edge off, we genuinely loved each other and I am so sorry that I was an idiot and threw all my chances away. I love you, Evan Fong.

Evan refused to meet Brian's eyes. He couldn't. Why? Why now of all the times, all the chances Brian had before. Now that finally Evan had someone who loved him and that he loved back. Why did Brian have to say what Evan had wanted him to say for such a long time. Why was Evan relieved to hear that, it wasn't any of his business anymore.

Evan opened his mouth to answer but when he glanced at the man he noticed that he had fallen asleep. Evan sighed and carried Brian to his room, once he settled the other man into bed he looked over him for a bit. 

Evan knew he was still in love with Brian, but he loved Derek and was incredibly happy with the businessman. He may not be in love with Derek, but he could see himself with him for the rest of his life.

He gave into the urge to kiss Brian’s forehead. “I loved you, you idiot.”

Back in Evan’s room he felt his heart race. What Brian said brought on a lot of memories and feelings. Heady and passionate feelings, built up from years of wanting, like the first time he and Brian were together. 

_ Brian had been visiting for his hair product deal he was a part of, and Evan had already had his house in L.A. so Brian was just stopping by to see the place and hang out with his friend. Evan had been nursing a crush on his Irish friend for a long time. _

_ Evan had always had a thing for sassy, athletic people with a sense of humor. So he was a bit nervous to be hanging out alone for the first time, but it would be fine, because as far Evan knew, Brian was straight. _

_ When Brian showed up they both lingered in their hug, neither of them wanting to let go. Brian demanded to be given a tour, as if Evan wasn’t going to him one regardless if he wanted one or not. Brian was oohing and ahhing at pretty much everything, making Evan laugh and crack jokes. _

_ Pretty soon they were sitting by the pool drinking beer and talking about anything and everything. Evan felt his crush slowly develop substance and grow deeper as the hours passed. Brian also seemed to be leaning in more and more, whether it was due to the conversation about their love lives, the alcohol in their systems or a mixture of both was unclear but Evan felt his heart pounding in his chest. _

_ “Ev, tell me if I’m reading this wrong.” Brian leaned in until his lips were brushing Evan’s. Evan pressed in and briefly felt Brian’s lips against his before pulling back to say, “I think we're on the same page.”  _

_ They kissed sweetly, until Brian brought his hands up to Evan’s cheeks to deepen the kiss. Evan felt a fire light in his belly and moved himself into Brian’s lap and started grinding down on Brian’s dick. Brian groaned into the kiss and bit the Canadian’s lip. _

_ Evan continued his movements as his hands explored under Brian’s shirt, feeling the warm body beneath him. He eventually pulled the Irish man’s shirt off and kissed along his neck, loving the hand in his hair that was guiding him down Brian’s body. _

_ “God, Ev, you're so fucking beautiful. Please, I need to see you.” Brian pleaded, trying to tug Evan’s shirt off. Evan laughed and quickly pulled it over his head, eager to get his mouth back on Brian’s body. _

_ Brian let his eyes take Evan in, not knowing what to do with his hands. He want to worship the man in front of him, from his broad shoulders, to his incredibly defined v pointing to his pelvis. He decided to just grip Evan’s soft hair as Evan pulled Brian’s dick out from his boxers.  _

_ Brian closed his eyes with the teasing kiss Evan gave the head, tugging the Canadian’s hair a bit tighter. Evan gave Brian’s dick a slow lick along the shaft in response, smiling up at the affronted glare he got before licking off the precome that was leaking at the head. _

_ Evan finally gripped the base of Brian’s dick and fit his mouth over the head and relaxed his throat as he sank down. Brian kept his hips firmly on the chair, trying to let Evan set the pace but when Evan hollowed his cheeks and sucked Brian couldn’t help but buck his hips.  _

_ “Fuck!” Brian gasped when Evan held him down and continued to give Brian the best blow job of his life. Evan was loving every second of this, having complete control while giving the illusion of him being the submissive one. He loved how wrecked Brian was getting, seeing the gorgeous man above him be so free and in the moment made Evan feel not only proud, but a worrisome fluttery warmth in his chest. _

_ Evan continued his ministrations and not soon after Brian was a panting mess, “Ev, Ev! Baby, fuck- Baby, yes, that’s amazing! I’m gonna cum, gonna cum!”  _

_ Evan moaned and jerked Brian’s dick in addition to the blowjob, determined to give Brian an orgasm he wouldn’t forget. When Brian finally came over the edge Evan swallowed every drop of cum. He released the dick with a wet “pop” and licked his lips in satisfaction. He sat back and let himself feel good about the fact that Brian was a gasping mess and looked so hot coming down from his orgasm. _

_ Evan kissed Brian once again and whispered in his ear, “I think the neighbors heard you. Calling out my name as I rocked your world, did you like that Brian?” _

_ Brian flipped them over, stunning Evan into silence. Brian undid Evan’s pants and shoved his hands into the boxers to grasp Evan’s dick. Evan hissed at the unexpected touch, but nodded at Brian to go on when the Irishman paused for permission to continue. Brian used his spit and Evan’s precome as lube and slowly moved his hand along Evan’s shaft.  _

_ He gently twisted his hands and played around with pressure as Evan threw his head back against the lawn chair. Brian took the opportunity to kiss and suck along the Canadian’s neck and chest. Nipping gently so as to not leave obvious love bites. Evan started bucking into Brian’s hand, chasing his orgasm but Brian stopped his movement and savored the whine that came from deep within Evan’s throat. _

_ “You asshole. Let me cum!”  Evan demanded when he finally found his voice. He started rutting against Brian, looking for some friction. Brian grinned at the bossy attitude his friend had even during sex. _

_ “Now, now, Evan,” Brian kissed Evan’s jaw, “I’m the one in control right now, and you look so pretty here. Moaning my name as I give a handjob,” Brian paused and contemplatively continued to stroke Evan’s dick, almost like an afterthought, “I wonder how you’d be if I bent you over and had my way with you? Would you like that, baby?” _

_ Evan felt himself start to get closer to the edge and moved his hips faster to cum before Brian decided to stop again. Brian only laughed as Evan became notably more desperate to cum, feeling a bit generous he decided to let Evan orgasm. They could explore edging sometime in the future. _

_ Evan came with a shout and coated Brian’s hand in ropes of cum, and laid there exhausted and pleased with the outcome of the night. Brian cleaned himself and Evan before he carried Evan inside and laid them both on the couch to rest. Evan kissed his neck once more before they fell asleep, blissed out and wrapped in each others arms. _

Evan opened his eyes and cursed as he made his way into the bathroom to take a cold shower. He was in a relationship with another man, damn it! Derek didn’t deserve to be second fiddle to something like that. 

Hopefully Brian won’t remember anything of what he told Evan tonight. It didn’t matter if Evan felt the same, he was also in love with Derek and in a happy, stable relationship. It didn’t matter if the love of Evan’s life felt the same way. 

Evan was happy. He was. Derek made him happy. 

Honest.


	7. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek's a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouff! This was a Hot Mess! Also Yay! i'm not dead!

Brian groaned and hid his head under his pillow. The pounding in his head was insufferable and he felt his eyes throb in his head. He prayed and felt around the bedside table carefully. Blessing Evan when he felt a cool glass and some pills.

Once he took the meds he laid back and waited for the it all to kick in. He chugged the rest of the water and walked into the kitchen. He found Evan making pancakes, he was wearing pajama pants, a loose t-shirt and socks covered his feet. Evan’s hair was standing and in all different directions. He looked like an idiot.

An endearing idiot.

“Sit down Brian. How’re you feeling?” Evan turned around and watched Brian sit at the table with an odd look on his face. Brian answered that he’d feel better if he wasn’t such an idiot and gotten plastered.

Evan chuckled. “Fair.” He placed a small stack of pancakes in front of Brian and sat across from him with his own plate.

Brian dug in immediately and Evan, again, watched him for a bit before starting to eat his own. Brian stopped eating, “Are you okay, Ev?”

A flash of Evan tearing up popped into his head. Fuck. Brian closed his eyes, “Evan, what did I say to you last night?”

Evan shrugged. “A lot of things. Don’t worry about it.” He avoided eye contact and kept shoveling pancakes into his mouth. Brian sighed and took Evan’s hand. 

“Ev. I think I know what I said. Tyler told me not to come stay with you because I was tempting fate. I love you. I know that you're happy and that I’m too late but,” Brian squeezed the hand in his, “Goddamnit, I’m in  fucking love with you and if your relationship with Derek doesn’t work out, please give me another chance, baby.”

Evan stared at Brian. He chewed his food slowly and glanced at their joined hands. He squeezed Brian’s hand back and let go. “I know I shouldn’t say this, but I’m still in love with you too.”

Brian sighed in relief but Evan continued, “But I still love Derek too. I need to still work things out with him or break it off because I love him and doesn’t deserve my bullshit.”

Brian began to protest. He would move to L.A., hell, he’d move to Toronto, Canada if Evan needed him to. He just needed to be with Evan, because it was torture to be away from him. It was torture to see the posts Evan made on his personal account about how amazing his boyfriend was.

Evan knew that this was a potential mistake and that it was bound to blow up in his face, but him and Derek were honestly on the edge of their relationship. They were two successful people who were too busy for each other, especially when one of them has to constantly travel for long periods of time.

They’ve talked about before.

_ “Evan, love, if you ever get tired of me being gone or feel like you don’t love me anymore, tell me. We can break it off and still be friends because I just want to be part of your life.” Derek kissed the back of Evan’s neck. Evan nodded and returned the sentiment. _

Evan closed his eyes and pulled out his phone to call his boyfriend. Brian watched silently,  not wanting to hope but, he wanted Evan to break it off with Derek. He heard Evan’s breath hitch, before he started shaking his head, hang up and toss his phone away from him. He looked shocked and then suddenly he turned to Brian and kissed him, taking the other man completely off-guard.

“Woah, Evan! What happened, baby?” He pulled away and noticed tears in the Canadian’s eyes, wiping them off he kissed Evan’s forehead and waited for Evan to speak. Evan was shaking and mumbling. What the fuck had happened? Evan didn’t even say anything before he started to flip out.

“He’s fucking cheating on me.” Evan’s voice sound disbelieving and broken. Brian felt white-hot fury on behalf of Evan. Why would anyone cheat on anyone else? Fuck. 

“What did he say?”

“He didn’t SAY anything! The feminine moaning and kissing sounds were enough! Then, the girl giggled and said “Hello?” as if she wasn’t sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend!” Evan punched the wall in anger. Brian heard something crack and immediately stopped Evan from doing it again. 

“Hey!” Brian wrapped his arms around Evan and kneeled so that they were both sitting as he rocked Evan gently as the other man gave frustrated gasps through his tears. Brain noticed Evan gripping the hand he had punched the wall with and saw how red the hand was already.

“Come on, Love. Let’s go get your hand x-rayed. We’ll let you calm down and we’ll call him again or wait until he calls.” Brian couldn’t help but kiss Evan’s head again. “It’ll be okay, Ev. I promise. I’m here.”

“I’ll take care of you.”

A few hours later, Evan was staring out of the window of his apartment. Maybe it was a misunderstanding? Derek wouldn’t do this to him. The loved each other, they were happy. Evan tried so hard to be perfect and to love Derek like he deserves. If Derek was actually cheating on Evan then he gave up on his own potential chance with Brian two years ago for no reason.

Evan supposed that if push came to shove, he’d be honest with Derek and say that he was still in love Brian and that if Derek was cheating then maybe it was meant to never work out. It didn’t hurt any less but in a way they both betrayed each other. Evan looked down at his hand, now in a cast because he stupidly punched a wall.

Brain cleared his throat. When Ev looked at him he held up a sharpie, “Let me be the first to sign it?” Evan managed a pained laugh at how high school-ish that sounded. He held out his arm and smiled when Brian signed  _ You're the light that leads me. - Bri <3 _

“You're such a sap.” 

“You love me.” Brian wiggled his brows. Evan rolled his eyes. He looked into those shock of blue eyes. 

“Brian. I’m going to break up with Derek, but I’m going to need some time. I do love Derek with all my heart and if he is cheating then..” Evan choked up. “Then this is the biggest betrayal and heartbreak I’ve experienced. Can you understand that?”

Brian nodded gravely. “Of course, Ev. I’m your friend before anything else. I’ll always be here when you need me, no matter what you may need me as.”

Brian did feel a bit bold and brought Evan’s uninjured hand to his lips to place a kiss. Evan smiled and gave Brian a quick peck on the cheek. Evan sighed before picking up the phone again to dial his boyfriend.

Derek picked up immediately.

“Evan! Baby, I saw that you called earlier but I was caught up in a meeting-” Derek bulldozed through the sentence.

“Derek.” 

“Evan, look, I love you so much and I know it sounds bad but I was hungover and she reminded me of you.” Evan grit his teeth. So he spent the night with her?

“Derek.” Silence finally on the other end. “What’s her name?” He didn’t know why it mattered, but it did. Evan needed to know her fucking name.

“Cynthia. Her name is Cynthia and I met her a week ago. We sat on the plane together and found out that we were in the same hotel.” Derek sucked in air when he heard Evan’s gasp in disbelief. “Evan no, last night was the first time anything happened! We were drunk and well… it’s no excuse, I know.”

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Derek finished lamely. Feeling like the worst human being for hurting his boyfriend.

Evan pressed his hand into his eyes, trying to stop the tears. He was going to be honest and end it right here. “Derek, I forgive you. I forgive you for physically cheating on me.”

Before Derek could respond Evan forged on, “I forgive you because I might have cheated on you emotionally, for a while actually.” 

“I know Evan. Trust me, it’s not the same. Not in a million years. There’s nothing to forgive.” Derek sighed. Evan felt his surprise melt into his features. 

“I know that you’ve been in love with Brian since our relationship started, Honey. I knew you also loved me and in the end I know that you're loyal to a fault, even when you're unhappy.” Evan protested. He was never unhappy with Derek, otherwise this betrayal wouldn’t fucking hurt as much as it did.

They went back and forth for a while. Brian had left as soon as he knew that Evan had it under control and went to record a video at Craig’s house. Craig was promptly filled in, with Evan’s permission, and was both furious and relieved that things were seemingly about to fall in place. The only regretful thing being Evan’s heartbreak. 

“Honestly fuck that guy. I don’t care if he was drunk and the girl reminded him of Evan. SHE WAS A WOMAN WHEREAS EVAN IS CLEARLY A MAN!” Craig slammed his hands on the table. Suni nodded and let out a frustrated growl at the thought of someone she thought was perfect for someone so sweet as Evan could screw him over like that.

Brian felt bad for Derek, it sounded like he really regretted his one night stand but he fucked up and there's no coming back. “Well Evan is currently handling it and I’m stepping back until he’s ready to start dating again. This time I’m not going to mess up.” 

Brian swore that he would be there for Evan no matter what and he would stick to it. Evan deserved that much.

Brian got back to the apartment and wasn’t surprised to hear evan strumming the guitar. Music was always Ev’s release, the strumming was pleasant and melodious as he approached the office Evan recorded music in. When he opened the door the music stopped and he had a sudden armful of Evan sobbing into his chest.

“I loved him Brian. Why am I never enough? No one ever just lets me love them. I just want to love and be loved.” 

  
All Brian could do is let his Love cry it out and put him to bed when he finally fell asleep. His heart was torn open. Seems like Evan might need more time that he’d originally thought.


End file.
